Discovering the Key

on

In the 12 years that I’ve struggled with anxiety, my end goal was always the same for the majority of that time: to cure myself of anxiety.  It took a few years to understand the fact that a cure was not the proper goal.  Anyone reading this post that has or continues to have struggles with anxiety may already know that the key to overcoming anxiety is learning a method of coping that works best for their own individual situation.  This is because of the unfortunate fact that anxiety is a complex disorder. There are a number of different types and it can develop from a wide variety of circumstances.

In my own personal experience, I had always linked the starting point on my anxiety to 2006, when certain events and circumstances came together at the same time in my life.  If you’ve read the last couple of blogs I’ve written, it’s only been since this breakthrough that I’ve really started re-investigating the origin of my anxiety.

On a rainy afternoon in July 1997, my family and I had gotten into a car accident.  Other than the car accident itself, I don’t remember a big amount of detail surrounding the events that transpired in the days following it, however, my mother tells me that it was a notably traumatic time for me.

Constant worry and fear, upset stomach and vomiting…

I’ve tried a lot of different approaches over the years to try to overcome my anxiety: praying, exercising, breathing, visiting a therapist, etc.  Each of those things did provide a little bit of improvement overall, but no matter what I tried, I couldn’t get myself to a place where I felt like myself before 2006.  However, since Sunday morning this past July, for the first time, I truly understand where my anxiety originates from.  Once I genuinely faced an episode of anxiety with zero fear, I felt for the first time (in a very long time) like I was living in ‘pre-2006’.  The key to my anxiety was…

Fear.

My mother will love to read this part: she was right this whole time.  I now believe that my anxiety was actually fabricated from the events that ensued in July of 1997.  The traumatic events of fear during those days were then reignited in 2006 in the form of anxiety (and the constant worry and fear, upset stomach and vomiting as mentioned earlier).  Being able to make that connection is satisfying enough.  But I’ve been having success so far since July in fearlessly challenging my anxiety because of it.  Each success that I have brings new confidence that I’ve been lacking for a long time.  That confidence has been allowing me to do things that would have been more challenging to do and enjoy because of my anxiety.

I used to think that the solution for my anxiety would be a cure.  I now understand that the cure is actually learning how to cope with anxiety.  Now that I’ve discovered the Key to my anxiety, for the first time I feel like I just may be able to cope with it.

 

…I’m still nervous about December…

Advertisements

One Comment Add yours

  1. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for sharing very uplifting God bless you

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s