Taking Back Control


I had always imagined that the solution for my anxiety would be big news.  Some mind-blowing realization that completely changed my life.  While the growing realization that I am finally feeling control of anxiety in my life is definitely mind-blowing, the solution was really quite simpler.  I’ve been taking the advice and incorporating it into every day life since that Sunday.

There are normal situations that I am in sometimes that trigger anxious feelings.  The reason they show up is simply because its a new situation to me.  For example, just last week, we went to the Canada Day celebrations in Paradise so that Mason could get on some the rides for the first time (He absolutely loved it!).  While Mason and I were seated in the ride, I started to feel the beginning of what would be anxiousness.  I knew it would be a possibility.  Again, situations that are out of the ‘ordinary’ routine have an increased chance of having it occur.  I used what I had learned and the anxiety subsided within several seconds.  I was fine the rest of the day after that.

I’m beginning to see a new pattern emerge.  As I combat my anxiety with this new fearless attitude, I am finding that the bouts of anxiety are becoming less and less frequent.  I am being surprised when I don’t feel anxiety in situations that I expect to.  In exchange, I am receiving confidence.

We have recently placed Mason in swimming lessons.  They are parent & tot sessions, so I get in the pool with him.  This would normally be another one of those scenarios that would create some anxiety within me leading up to getting in the pool.  Not because the pool scene is unfamiliar, but the reason we are getting in the pool is new and different for me.  It’s a new situation.  I was surprised though that after registering him last week and then leading up to the first session, I felt no anxiety whatsoever.  In fact, I was excited at being the one to volunteer.  I’ve never felt that way about something in a long time, really.  I call it ‘normal’ excited.

Of course, these situations so far aren’t life-altering as such, so I ask myself if I have even truly tested my new offense?  When Mason was born, that was a time that really affected me from an anxious perspective.  I wonder how I would have handled it if I knew then what I know now.  

It appears that in December, I just may get that chance again…

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Anonymous says:

    Charles, I have followed your posts and am so thankful to our Lord for your progress. I, Ethel, have felt you were and are a very special person. May the Lord bless you and your little family and congratulations to the wonderful news of another gift to you and your wife in December.

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